250406

the week started off really badly and it depends who i am with. i may seem ok to some but to others no. was reading some of the blogs and i really envy those who can express their thoughts and feelings really well. sad to say, i still cant get the hand of writing it good =( that explains why my gp grade still isnt up to expectations. such a pity for those who know me well enough.

why cant it just stop?it is affecting me so badly that i just dont want to go to school anymore. things are getting so complicated and i seem to be lost in the desert or something.or maybe i am just not use to simplicity. nonchalent attitude.will that be the answer to the problems?seems so for the time being. i know the answer and i know what i want.i know many people has mistaken my intentions. but they just dont bother to ask in detail that's why misunderstandings occur and i dont bother to clarify. i am the type..whats the point of explaining myself further if one does not ask? i cant be bothered.just hope everything will happen as what it had in my dream soon.i cant take it if it drags any longer.if some kind soul out there knows, hope that person can sympathise with me and pit a stop to it

230406

a week has passed.it seems to be gone real fast but on the other hand, a little slow as well, as if i want this week to pass quickly.something which i will seldom hope for.but well, its finally the end of the week.it was a little dull i guess or maybe it was just because i am not in the mood to do anything.no motivation, no laughter, no dreams, no ideals.i just want to lie on my bed and sleep through my life on earth.or maybe its because i have been listening to too many melancholy songs but i like them, or else i wont be listening to them endless times. oh well, i really do not know what i want. if audrey sees this, of course she is bound to say i am in depression again.hahas.If i ever kill myself because of depression, she should be guilty forever because she didnt help enough to make me slip out of depression!=DD alright! the only thing i am looking forward is co pracs. something i cant fathom.why i am so keen to playing cello during this period?i am not sure.maybe there has been someone or something that has motivated me in doing so. afterall, i feel my life is pretty out of control.the only thing that is keeping me happy here on earth is that i have such nice parents!

i love the way i am right now and i hope no one comes and disrupts it..