my body system in me has officially broken down

i am very tired
very weary

the responsibilities that i have to carry is far too much for me to bear
the songs that i used to like..no longer can comfort me anymore

melancholy

wonder when will i ever have a chance to listen or maybe watch a movie or a concert which i can truely enjoy.

a comedy movie hopefully..i have not laughed heartedly for a long long time
or a concert where soothing songs are sung or played

or why not a good meal where there is little oil and msg and ... in them
i am so tired of those hawkers' food

if only i can taste homemade food once again where there is little oil =(

i feel so sick..sore throat,flu..they aint making me feel any better from the life that i am living currently

weariness =(

who will understand
who will help

i gave up! i'll put up those blog address soon.its so tedious trying to find out your old friends' blogs but i guess that's how we continue to keep in touch.i have forsaken my blog for so long and that explains that i have not been contacting some friends for a decade.i am exaggerating of course.

last week of term2 before the june holidays arrives.its really time to settle down.hopefully, i will succeed this time round.

and..LUCIA!please leave me your blog address!i have lost it =/ so sorry
it seems as though after setting up my new blog , i am going to leave it to rot once again =S

200506

sigh..its so painful..scalded my hand 2 days ago while ironing.1 long scar..no one actually noticed it except for michelle!=) thanks alot.it was my 1st time ironing my own clothes.i cant really say i feel sense of achievement but at least i finally learn a little bit of independence i hope during these few weeks.the worst thing is, i had to forget my mom's birthday which was yesterday..i know she was disappointed when i wished her late at night..

just hope everything will be fine.the grey clouds will pass soon i hope.

150506

my mom is currently in the operation theatre.somehow i feel traumatise by it.maybe its because my mommy has always been the pillar of support throughout my 18 years here on earth.that's why upon hearing the news, my mood was completely on the down side.Without her, i am not sure if i can survive till this day. i really pray she will be alright.

maybe this hasnt been a very good day. co ended on the 11th may for me and i am hoping not to think much about it.afterall, the withdrawal symptoms are not easy to cope with.back then in sn, it took me 2 weeks.somehow, there's always a big event before i stepped down.i wonder why is it always the case. but well, my junior just called me, saying there isnt anyone whose there for co prac from my section. i wonder what happened =S

i was disappointed with 2people this year.complicated issues. when i passed that to my dad today, at that moment, i realise it doesnt mean as much as i thought it would be. i am glad.afterall, i have been sheltered quite abit by my parents and i too try to protect myself.i just hope it will stop from here.dont do it anymore.please.being out of sn taught be alot.maybe its due to the fact that i've been in that high-class environment for too long.well, i am not high class but it sort of reduces my perspective towards things in life back then in sn.i've matured alot.i've been really tolerant too.i guess this is one of the good traits i have mastered in nj.one more thing, friends in nj somehow cant exactly be compared to sn friends.good or bad..decide yourself =)