actually i really want to share my happy moments that i have with my family yesterday with someone
but yes..i cant find anyone else to share with..sigh..see how sad my life is..i have friends but yet it seems as though i dont have one.how pathetic.that's why i always feel i am alive for only one reason--for my family, for my church

forgot those negative feelings!and the moment i typed that previous sentence, i thought about LUCIA!=) so anyway, i shall keep singing to myself in school so i can act as if i am alright.

good idea..isnt it?

not sure why.but how come i see more people asking me to go for grad when they are not from my own class..

so i am back to listening all my mp3s
old and new songs..not much new though
just felt that these lyrics can really describe how i feel yesterday as well as today..which allowed me to stay happy in front of people

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow
And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow

And the dream we were conceived in
Will reveal a joyful face
And the world we once believed in
Will shine again in grace
Then why do we keep strangling life
Wound this earth, crucify its soul
Though it's plain to see
This world is heavenly
Be God's glow

heal the world is my all time favourite song.maybe its because of the issues it touches on in the song.just feel that there are lesser and lesser songs that i feel attached to because it has become someone else's memory.that's why i am hoping to find one which truely belongs to me

can i?

new songs make me happy! =) despite them being not so happy songs =X
i feel so much better today.its like 50% of me is healed.hopefully, it will not be a reversible reaction where i go back to me not-so-gd days in spilt seconds.

so basically, i have at least 1 person who will ask me if i am going for grad EVERYDAY.
but i feel..whether if i go or not, what difference will it make?
unless there's someone out there who can psycho me into going or give me a very good reason..or else, i doubt i will be attending..especially after what i have gone through the last 4 horrendous weeks.being left alone to struggle, battling by myself, those awful feelings that were so overwhelming, being solitary for so long and now asking me to celebrate for the days i spent like this at the end of the year will be insane!

all right..for now, i shall keep that on stand by first..i wont say no yet..a dont know as an answer is good enough
i am so looking forward to sat!it will be my happiest day..hopefully!
mich,muikoon,xinnie,hongpei,kris,siye,doris!

if i really have to act as though i am ok, i dont mind doing so
music heals my soul.
i am searching for a song that truely belongs to me

dont ask me what happened.
I feel terrible actually.

i have spent hours on the computer already..doing nothing but just listening to songs and singing along with them.
that's the best way to relieve whatever unhappiness i have within me

it has been very difficult to have someone whom i can lean to when i am tired and when i need support.
i really feel like crying

the world cup craze has been affecting me.I have started to familarise myself with all the players' names, recalling them from the last world cup.hahas.I feel so disappointed that I couldnt have the chance to watch Brazil play before they got eliminated by France.so my bet for the finals will be germany against france!just got to hear my phy teacher simon tan commented that our class phy results for the ct is like a brazilian tragedy! =X1more week to finals..=) oh a lighter note, i am so elated to see england got out the match.i cant deny that they played well but still....

alright.so ct2 is officially over and i am down to 2 more days left before school starts properly.despite having 6 days of rest, i feel really bored.I wasnt in the mood for anything except watching green forest show once again!it didnt made me laugh as much as it did previously but I still enjoyed myself watching it.it was the sorrowful parts which stirred my emotions. After viewing those uncut scenes which lasted more than 4hours, I came to appreciate the story even more. the narrator who recounted the more significant parts of the show was able to depict it so clearly and movingly that i actually prefer what he said compared to the main story itself.

it was indeed creative for the story to be based on the music by Brahm's Gmajor

Having to see the inedited scenes:
the camaraderie between the backstage crew and the actors/actresses
the laughters amid those serious and solemn scenes
the tears that have to be forced out from the children to create the effect that the director hopes to achieve
the countings done by the director during the scene where owen and william were fighting over the broken candy which sophie passed to them because they couldnt coordinate. mei you mo qi!
the beautiful words that the narrator has chosen during the diary episodes which have created a miraculous effect on me
the mesmerising canon in d song which was played by those children before rounding up the whole show the playing of the song was real!
the stupidity leon williams has shown during his acting who looks cute and funny during those uncut scenes only
the positive and never-say-die attitude which yan yan has portrayed during the filming deserves my upmost respect
william's chauffeur and ah liang ge made the show so hilarious!=D
and this part which i feel was meaningful

ru2 guo3 ta1 jiu4 shi4 na4 ge4 ke3 yi3 gei3 ni3 xing4 fu2 de ren2
wo3 yi1 ran2 hui4 zhan4 zai4 yuan3 fang1
shou3 hu4 zhe ni3
jiu4 xiang4 shi4 pu4 la1 mu3 si1
shou3 zhe ke4 la1 la1 de4 su4 ming4
zhi2 neng2 jiang1 ai1 zhu4 ru4 yin1 yue4
cheng2 wei2 yue4 zhang1
pu4 la1 mu3 si1 zhong1 ji2 yi4 sheng1
dou1 shen1 ai4 zhe en1 shi1 shu1 man4 de4 qi1 zi3 ke4 la1 la1
ta1 zai4 ge hao3 you3 de4 shu1 xin4 zhong1
ceng2 jing1 ti2 dao4
huo4 xu3 qi3 ta1 nu3 zi3 ye3 ke3 yi3 yun3 xu3 wo3 yi2 ge4 tian1 tang2
dan4 zai4 wo3 xin1 zhong1 de4 tian1 tang2
que4 zao3 yi3 jing bei4 ke4 la1 la1 zhan4 man3
2005 nian2, lu4 guang1 sen1 lin2 de4 gu4 shi4
jiu4 shi4 cong2 pu4 la1 la1 de4 yin1 yue4 kai1 shi3

如果有一天
命运让我们再次相遇
而你的答案还缺少一个回应
或许你不知道
其实我也在等待另一个奇迹
14yrs ago..but yet what you said is still clearly in my mind



here is the guy who made me watch my 1st ever taiwan show just because he can speak such excellent english.he got me thinking how i was struggling with chinese 4 years back.after watching a few more epsoides, i realise his smile produces miracles too.hahas

i shant be baised so i shall upload ethan's picture too..many people prefer him to leon though.hahas.and i've decided to get those pictures where he plays the violin.its fake playing of course..abit uncool for me.HAHa.. and all those hanyupinying, i actually took my chinese dictionary from the storeroom and find every single word..making sure i didnt make any mistakes..haiz..blame on my bad chinese =(




alright.my 1st ever uploading such pictures on my blog.i wonder what has happened to me..but anyway, i have finished watching the show and the diary parts twice.so no more green forest from now on! maybe a sneak when it is showing on tv.hahas


xi1 wang4 wo3 neng2 cheng2 wei2 ni3 qi1 qing2 shang4 kuai4 le4 de4 yin1 fu2
mi2 bu3 wo3 li2 kai1 dai4 ge2 ni3 de4 shang1 xin1